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Post by Kitten on Jul 13, 2007 15:40:42 GMT -5
Each morning, wake up with a heavy mind, full of stillborn words and ragged stones, with a heart that weighs a couple tons, the silence rings, I open doors and lets the lifeless air out.
Nothing left to do at home, but settle at the bottom, give roots into pine veneer and vegetate to the refrigerator drone.
I leave the lights on, leave quiet walls, leaking faucets, empty cupboards, rust on the radiator ribs, dust and mold on the ceiling and floors.
Outside, instant sniffles and shivering spasms, hands burrow deeper into pockets, I walk between high-rise bodies of dead concrete. Flickering beads of lights weave around the neck, the roadsides and the streets. Paper labels litter wet pavement, smeared and ripped.
Alloy air, garbage mixed with a wingspan of spring. I inhale and hold it in.
Destruction, not bubble wrapped, not safe, but ugly, gritty, pretty. Natural man-made decay mirrors the way that we were and the way that we are, and still continue to be, we survive.
I don't believe in a single god, not for the fashion but because I’ve seen many gods in the old, in every stranger and homeless or the overworked hurrying home, in the listless faces of mothers, tired, humble and strong. It’s not spiritual or supernatural, but rather mundane it's all about having a backbone when the forces of human nature take over and ignorance reigns.
It's when there is constant defeat, but there is hope in spite of complete absence of hope coming not from above but from the inner reserves of all.
I have witnessed that we survive on our own.
07/2006
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Post by lazzirus on Jul 17, 2007 22:58:27 GMT -5
I have witnessed that we survive on our own
" AMAZZING WRITE " You cover more ground in this piece than some cover in books. No ass kissing here, just wow... Like minds do what ? - LMS
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littlewhipmaker
Demon Disciple
Who understands pleasure, without a little pain...
Posts: 438
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Post by littlewhipmaker on Oct 4, 2007 18:45:13 GMT -5
Wow! That was awsome!...not sure what else to say.... the ending ....so perfect for the piece.
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littlewhipmaker
Demon Disciple
Who understands pleasure, without a little pain...
Posts: 438
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Post by littlewhipmaker on Oct 4, 2007 18:46:31 GMT -5
Wow! That was awsome!...not sure what else to say.... the ending ....so perfect for the piece.
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Post by Aish on Oct 10, 2007 18:30:09 GMT -5
Mmmmm, loves this delicacy: "full of stillborn words and ragged stones,"
"Destruction, not bubble wrapped, not safe, but ugly, gritty, pretty. Natural man-made decay mirrors the way that we were and the way that we are, and still continue to be, we survive." --There is a new book out, and apparently a study was done with Manhattan as the subject, and the results were interesting - if humans were to suddenly abandon the island within 100 years there would virtually be no visible evidence man was ever there.
Great read, Kitten. I see you haven't lost that keen edge of yours.
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Post by shadowe271 on Oct 23, 2007 18:16:42 GMT -5
Allo, just stumbled on to this and had to reply.
I noticed structure that contains a definititive introduction and sort of an open end.
From the beginning, it was as if the words were nearly painted for me, or a series of snapshots were taken. I was pulled in staight away with an atmosphere very familiar. The city imagery and tone both continue to pull me in until I lose myself somewhere toward the middle of the poem.
I was brought back in the last two verses. There is a truth there that speaks pure poetry.
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Post by Kitten on Oct 23, 2007 19:26:19 GMT -5
Thanks to all. I'm glad you liked.
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Post by acronymph on Nov 29, 2007 15:51:57 GMT -5
Your descriptions of your surroundings are very, very sensual. You incorporate sight and smell and taste without over-doing it. I'd like to read some prose by you
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Post by crazyeyedpoet on Dec 22, 2007 23:52:15 GMT -5
gritty.torn and methodical.good one.
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Post by Swindle Sheet on Oct 27, 2011 0:54:42 GMT -5
The title is really cool. When I was first reading this I thought it was going to be one of those poems with a cool title that didn't really mean much. However it is a perfect title to a deep poem. It covers a lot of ground. You wait until stanza 7 before dropping the word "god". That was a master stroke.
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urchin
Crimson Soul
Who needs hope when you are willing to stare at fate and stop this crusade?
Posts: 85
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Post by urchin on May 3, 2012 13:10:42 GMT -5
This poem made me think but not strain about what you were saying. It's the first idea of God, written or heard, that I could believe in. I, er, thanks, I guess. I really liked this.
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jaded
Dark Initiate
Posts: 43
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Post by jaded on Jul 6, 2013 3:52:19 GMT -5
I loved it. I felt as though it was speaking of a higher power, a force greater than onesself. Not a god. Hard to explain I interpret things a lot differently than most others. Lol. Anyhow the descriptions were great seeing the story told through the readers eyes are some of the best writes and that is how it felt. Thank you
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