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I got 1
Jul 8, 2004 17:02:02 GMT -5
Post by Princeofdecosmos on Jul 8, 2004 17:02:02 GMT -5
ok i got s few lines and i have tried but nothing eles comes after it it goes:
I am in pain, I am in sorrow I wish I could die and not see tomarrow
thats all i got help pleaz
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I got 1
Jul 13, 2004 11:12:42 GMT -5
Post by littleskinny on Jul 13, 2004 11:12:42 GMT -5
The reason it doesn't go anywhere is because there's nowhere for it to go! Scratch and start over, is my view!
What specifically do you want the poem to say? Other than "I wish I were dead", obviously.
What kind of pain? Where? Why does it hurt? Who or what caused it? What's wrong with tomorrow? Why don't you want to see it? Is it a long term thing, or specifically a fear of tomorrow? Maybe you have an exam, or a nasty conference call, or you're gonna get a bollocking....
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Voltarrens
Crimson Soul
Creative Dreamer in the Night
Posts: 85
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I got 1
Sept 7, 2004 10:00:23 GMT -5
Post by Voltarrens on Sept 7, 2004 10:00:23 GMT -5
Maybe you could try using each line as the begining of a stanza and expland on what you're trying to convey out of each line . . . . which bit of tomorrow don't you want to see???
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I got 1
Oct 9, 2004 14:00:41 GMT -5
Post by angelofsuicide on Oct 9, 2004 14:00:41 GMT -5
I dont know try this
I am in pain, I am in sorrow I wish I could die and not see tomorrow
Crawling inside molested memories beautiful genocide of all thats within me torment within whispers so soflty the darkness grins everything that could never be
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I got 1
Oct 16, 2004 12:18:37 GMT -5
Post by MissUnderstood on Oct 16, 2004 12:18:37 GMT -5
I am in pain, I am in sorrow I wish I could die and not see tomorrow
Crawling inside molested memories beautiful genocide of all thats within me torment within whispers so soflty the darkness grins everything that could never be crawling inside, molesting me
forces within, corrupt my soul linger thier way to an empty hole to sleep forever in their waking days to lie to the truth of thier fogottem ways
stay inside my sane and make me true to you say something wothy and make me fall to you
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I got 1
Oct 16, 2004 12:22:44 GMT -5
Post by MissUnderstood on Oct 16, 2004 12:22:44 GMT -5
I am in pain, I am in sorrow I wish I could die and not see tomorrow
Crawling inside molested memories beautiful genocide of all thats within me torment within whispers so soflty the darkness grins everything that could never be crawling inside, molesting me
forces within, corrupt my soul linger thier way to an empty hole to sleep forever in their waking days to lie to the truth of thier fogottem ways
stay inside my sane and make me true to you say something worthy and make me fall to you
I am in pain, I am in sorrow I wish I could die and never cease to try
everything that could ever be will forever remain inside of me
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