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Post by softspokenlies078 on Dec 23, 2003 12:09:21 GMT -5
It’s my fault that I loved you Its’ my fault that I lied It’s my fault that I hurt you And my fault that you cried
It’s my fault that I’m angry My fault that I bled It’s my fault I hate you now And that my hatred’s fed
It’s my fault you were happy And mine that you felt respected My fault I believed you When you said you were neglected
It’s my fault I never realized That you were playing games My fault I let your fakeness Drive me to this shame
I didn’t make you hurt me I didn’t make you leave I didn’t make you love him And send him after me
I was the one who kicked his ass And left you all alone And I know even now that You’re still waiting by your phone
My faults may be many But I’m not as low as you And I’m glad it’s finally over Not forgotten, simply through
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Post by black jewelled rain on Dec 23, 2003 16:50:57 GMT -5
In some ways I thought this poem sounded almost like a song. This was perhaps partly due to the repetition of 'it's my fault' and you're effective rhyme scheme. Also, these stanzas sounded a little like choruses to me:
I love your style, and I love this poem!
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Post by Lina Inverse on Dec 24, 2003 0:27:40 GMT -5
Ouch. I'm just glad your out of that relationship.
I think using all those "that"s (It's my fault that I loved you) kind of ruined the rythm. At first I didn't notice them and read them "It's my fault I loved you" and it had a good rythm to it.
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Post by softspokenlies078 on Dec 26, 2003 18:55:39 GMT -5
i never really noticed that stuff normally when i write stuff i just kinda write it then never look at it again
thanks for commenting -Jess
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Post by :.:.:KrO NiC DaZe:.:.: on Dec 26, 2003 21:01:11 GMT -5
Good poem...I'm still thinkin bout it so I don't have alot ta say...but anyway nice shit...lata
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