|
Post by luca on Nov 19, 2004 8:38:58 GMT -5
Shattered, shattered Smashed against the wall Shattered, shattered Broken on the floor
Dreams, they do not die You bathe me in your light We fly sky across the sky Our wings a golden rush
Shattered, shattered Smashed against the wall Shattered, shattered Broken on the floor
Living our last breath Dying together every night Rising with each new dawn Kissing a forgotten dream
Shattered, shattered Smashed against the wall Shattered, shattered Broken on the floor
Pain flowing through my veins Sorrow from a child’s eyes Crying one last crimson tear The memories of a broken heart
Shattered, shattered Smashed against the wall Shattered, shattered Broken on the floor
|
|
|
Post by Yossarian on Nov 19, 2004 16:17:08 GMT -5
Shattered, shattered Smashed against the wall Shattered, shattered Broken on the floor I liked the song, but my only complaints were that it sounded cliche, and was weakly written, esp. the chorus (quoted above)..The first verse and last verse in particular were great... damn...loved this. my suggestion would be simply to flesh it out, and you'll have a great song! Cheers, Yossarian
|
|