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Post by Yossarian on Oct 30, 2004 12:01:06 GMT -5
Don't much like the title...please offer suggestions about that and the song...
"Liar"
I told you everything I didn't believe (But you believed it anyway) I told not to trust Those who you can't see (But you trusted them anyway) I told you that so much Was left open to interpretation (You tried to analyze it anyway) I told you love was a maze Of mystery and lies (You fell in love anyway)
It's so hard to turn away From the evils in this world But people do anyways Pretend not to see what's cruel
I told you I was crazy Not to believe what I said (You you listened anyway) I told you not to follow those With blindfolds over their eyes (You followed them awayway) I told you not to cry for those Who told such horrible lies (You cried anyway) I told you not to lose yourself In sarcasm and lies (You're gone now)
It's so hard to turn away From the evils in this world But people do anyway Pretend not to see what's cruel
It's so hard to turn away From the evils in this world But you follow the herd every day Then call the thinker the fool...?
Suggetstions are welcome! ;D
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Post by _black phoenix_ on Nov 6, 2004 14:41:51 GMT -5
ok, ive read this piece several times now, and i have finnally come to a conclusion..
i like the message(s) in this piece, but the wording is just too bland.. it detracts from the effectiveness of the poem.
but then again, i dont know how to write a song, so i dont feel completely right critiquing it. im sure that it sounds wonderful to music.
just curious, yoss, what sort of music would you put this to?
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Post by Addrienne on Jan 12, 2005 21:04:22 GMT -5
... this is awesome. oh so easy to relate to.. very emotional for me.. made me realize how much of a fool I am sometimes. : : I don't like the title either, but I can't think of anything to offer.. maybe I'll come back at some point when I think of one..
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Post by Yossarian on Jan 13, 2005 14:09:09 GMT -5
thanks for the comments, guys... leash, I have no idea what kind of music I'd put this to...I wrote it as a song without any idea of melody in mind, which is weird for me...but there you go.
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Post by Reaper696 on Feb 1, 2005 17:50:09 GMT -5
I think I can help you with the title : "The Reasoning of Rubber Bands". As far as anything else? There's too many variables for me to just pick 1 avenue. Hope I helped...
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Post by MirrorImage || egamIrorriM on Jul 6, 2005 20:07:23 GMT -5
for a title? "Fool Within Reality". simple, too the point, and it fits.
music? i have ideas, but we would have to work that out personally.
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