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Post by fury on Aug 14, 2004 21:52:43 GMT -5
She lost her true love Through her very own mistake, Those close to her snatching him away,
So she cries again and again Each tear falling down her Fragile, unknown being, The endless saddening tears she cries
She drags the needles through her skin Her only comfort without him… The blood doesn’t start And then it pours
And she cringes now within her pain Finding morbid comforts in her blood Seeping from her broken humanity, Her endlessly bloody sea lives on…thriving
She sits in corners crying The drugs her only resort for happiness Never knowing the difference between ecstasy and reality
She sits in a corner Bleeding and crying endlessly The blood seeping from herself And the never ending tears Are always raining from her soul.
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Post by _black phoenix_ on Aug 15, 2004 11:22:34 GMT -5
those last two lines were beautiful.. great way to end off a very sad piece of writing. well done, silver.
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Post by Yossarian on Nov 6, 2004 14:21:37 GMT -5
This is so beautiful and so sad...like leash said, the last two lines are perfect.
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Daemonized
Crimson Soul
There are noises in the dark ... the owners of which ... are better not to behold
Posts: 138
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Post by Daemonized on Nov 8, 2004 21:32:53 GMT -5
Greetings,
It's so cool how many times I can be humbled here. For lack of proper homage ... I really loved this !
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Post by shadowsangel on Nov 23, 2004 17:52:01 GMT -5
wow so sad and beautiful you did a good job on the writing no typos unlike me anyway i love this peice i which to see more in the near future
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Voltarrens
Crimson Soul
Creative Dreamer in the Night
Posts: 85
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Post by Voltarrens on Dec 15, 2004 3:32:06 GMT -5
Hello, while reading your nice lyrics . . . this came to mind/ suggested itself as a possible rewrite on the first 2 stanzas
"She lost her love, Through her own mistakes, Those close to her, Snatching him away,
So she cries again, Saddness falling down, Fragile . . . Being unknown, The endless tears she cries"
. . . just a thought . . .
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Post by Hyde on Dec 27, 2004 4:15:50 GMT -5
This hit way close to my reality-
"She sits in corners crying The drugs her only resort for happiness Never knowing the difference between ecstasy and reality"
inspiring work, keep it up.
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Post by Addrienne on Jan 12, 2005 20:37:58 GMT -5
I like this, and yet I don't. It is, to me, in between a poem and a song, and I can't really feel it as either. it has beautiful imagery and it's a good inspiration, but you might want to modify it a bit to be more.. song-ish, wtf.
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Post by Yossarian on Jan 13, 2005 14:17:20 GMT -5
It's amazing how long this poem has been active on this board, and jessi doesn't even post on here any more...
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