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Post by twistedangel on May 26, 2016 12:38:19 GMT -5
I like that you like to show me off Maybe cos I can be in denial You made me As last Saturday…you chose me clothes Tiny tartan mini White Lacey c-thru top Knee length black boots Absolutely nothing else
Taxi into town I liked watching you watch the driver Adjust the rear-view for a better view As I sat with legs slightly apart Aroused in being your tart
I like you watching me dance With your friends an strangers alike My breasts all but fully exposed Hands all over me thighs a little to high
There's nothing I wouldn't do for you Like last birthday I lap danced you in public view The crowded bar where we did screw Taking me behind as I ordered…nobody knew ?
Me naked pics…I know you ‘secretly’ share I don't care You eyes drive me wild An I know their only on me
But there’ll always be a little part of me That only you will ever see
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Post by LonelyForsaken on May 30, 2016 13:38:16 GMT -5
I agree, the personal touch/depth at the end makes the erotica more so. I think the last two strophes should be conjoined with "So." "But" implies an opposition to the two statements but, your saying he has eyes only for you "so" there is a place you reserve just for him to see. The use of "but" would fit better if you did it despite his wandering eye.
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Post by twistedangel on May 31, 2016 3:03:10 GMT -5
Oh that's a good point Gotta say I think good erotica is really really hard how write. This wos a kinda self exorcise in a subject I don't usually go near
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Post by LonelyForsaken on May 31, 2016 3:11:18 GMT -5
I know what you mean. I'm not even qualified to have an opinion let alone write it. LOL
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