LSD
Crimson Soul
She needs me, but I need her.
Posts: 102
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Post by LSD on May 11, 2016 23:59:19 GMT -5
and away with the world the days were the same as the grey in her hair a princess to me she takes off her pearls and throws them to sea a cheerless decay waves hit the words as the boat shipped away link
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Post by Aish on May 12, 2016 19:21:20 GMT -5
Welcome back.
Your opener feels like a conversation/story in progress, where I as the reader don't really know what is occurring. Also, watch your verb tenses.
I like the melancholy vibe in this. Any chance you're open to expanding a little so it's not quite so vague?
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LSD
Crimson Soul
She needs me, but I need her.
Posts: 102
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Post by LSD on May 13, 2016 13:28:51 GMT -5
Im always open, but this is a slow song (ballad) I play on guitar. Its actually a really beautiful scene if you can try to see it as a picture:) I like to imagine Rose from the Titanic! But its whatever you can see. Thanks for the input.
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Post by Aish on May 13, 2016 15:05:39 GMT -5
Oooh!!! Would you be willing to add an audio file to the piece? I'd love to hear it.
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LSD
Crimson Soul
She needs me, but I need her.
Posts: 102
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Post by LSD on May 14, 2016 12:42:07 GMT -5
Sure, absolutely. I have a file in my email. If I can, ill try to attach it.
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Post by Aish on May 14, 2016 21:38:45 GMT -5
The command button in the upper right hand corner of your post should have audio listed in the drop down menu.
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LSD
Crimson Soul
She needs me, but I need her.
Posts: 102
|
Post by LSD on May 15, 2016 10:40:46 GMT -5
oh ok thanks. link is at the bottom. i hope it works haha
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Post by Aish on May 16, 2016 12:52:59 GMT -5
Worked perfectly ? This adds a profoundly different element. As lyrics, when heard with the music I wouldn't change a thing. Thanks so much for sharing!
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