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Post by twistedangel on May 6, 2016 1:42:14 GMT -5
Born to rot, to decay Cast into premade grave Writhing worm of the forsaken
Then light
Burning promises Odours of roses In fear, in hope Leave a comfortable crypt
Five years
Child of twilight No longer dead Not yet living Learning yearning to walk
Kaleidoscopic vistas close graves Yet living shy away For deaths taint lingers
And I No longer know a home
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Post by Aish on May 12, 2016 22:49:48 GMT -5
I don't think you need "to" in front of decay in S1 L1. I don't think you should capitalize every line, either. Final strophe is impactful.
I'm surprised no one has commented on this yet.
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Merciless
May 13, 2016 18:50:55 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by Mikepoet on May 13, 2016 18:50:55 GMT -5
Im not as learned as some many in fact of the members. i like what i read. good word useage well deacribed. i feel it was well written.
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Post by twistedangel on May 15, 2016 8:10:05 GMT -5
Cheers guys, after having a massive row and falling out, me muse kinda stormed off in a huff, so I sit a forced meself to write JUST SOMTHING, so after an eternity of staring at a blank page..finally came up with this
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