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Post by Aish on Feb 4, 2016 3:09:43 GMT -5
bloodless words empty feet and hands barren soil (or womb) testament to the dust of toilless labor
lips in to hips in to fists and fits to breath to song
knurled skin so the out is in
dusk sighs in grays and blues angry shouts/loud suffering the coward fleeing such fields receeds even further from truth [/font]
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opaque
Feb 7, 2016 14:04:53 GMT -5
Post by LonelyForsaken on Feb 7, 2016 14:04:53 GMT -5
I want to click like on this but the circumstances behind the inspiration are too unlikeable. "I see you" is synonymous with "I love you." When a coward turns away from this responsibility I suspect the response is always much the same from the jilted: rips own heart out and drops it at the cowards feet saying: "Here, I gave this to you long ago but I won't be needing it anymore."
The first two strophes seem to hold too much personal note to appeal to a wider audience and I think in strophe two line two "and" should be "to" for consistency but the last strophe is a knockout blow.
*Hugs*
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opaque
Feb 8, 2016 13:57:58 GMT -5
Aish likes this
Post by twistedangel on Feb 8, 2016 13:57:58 GMT -5
I read abuse in this, maybe am taking it to literally but it hints at physical to my mind, but if not..even so abandonment is mental abuse IMO...as for LFs saying about ripping your heart out...nooo rip theirs out an keep your own
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opaque
Feb 8, 2016 14:15:50 GMT -5
Post by LonelyForsaken on Feb 8, 2016 14:15:50 GMT -5
“...as for LFs saying about ripping your heart out...nooo rip theirs out an keep your own” – Very practical idea except that you’re seeking justice where none can be found and the heart that cares is the only one that can be reached.
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