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Post by ravenskraft96 on Nov 27, 2015 20:52:29 GMT -5
the dolls of the rejected headless baby head ready to feed the sacrifices of human souls and blood for them to drink flesh to eat for their souls to roam in terror the pillars of horror their spirits roars limbo's leftover their set to roam the world havoc has begun foul lemon taste not so sweet when you're the sweet ones as the dolls devour your flesh the pit has you now drown in their tears
ravenskraft
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Post by vincentaugustemanet on Nov 27, 2015 23:12:50 GMT -5
This kinda poem is not really my thing, but I like the alliteration and tempo quite a bit. I don't really like the 2nd line since it uses head twice and idk how you can have a headless head, so I would def change that part up myself.
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Post by Aish on Dec 4, 2015 14:38:21 GMT -5
Welcome to DarkStar, ravenskraft96. Please make yourself at home and acquaint yourself with the boards and the rules. If you have any questions feel free to pm myself or any other mod or member.
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Post by twistedangel on Dec 5, 2015 5:33:22 GMT -5
Love the tone an feel this has, dark an moody that said ermm agree that 'headless baby head' is weird ...an adoescant shift from me own head the question..how does one eat or drink without a head ?..kk stoopid thought i guess from the overall but find it a little distracting Hmm hope thats not over critical cos I really enjoyed the style of this write
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