|
Post by twistedangel on Aug 24, 2015 4:06:05 GMT -5
As truth smothers hope Lead into black hole Gravity of despair So thought but dances round its edges Think not on why I cry alone
|
|
|
Post by LonelyForsaken on Aug 25, 2015 14:30:47 GMT -5
L2 – “Lead” should be “falls” or “sinks” to go better with gravity. L4 – You don’t need “So” at the beginning of that line. These are my kind of dark thoughts. What makes this even sadder is that it’s coming from a pretty young woman like you. Your short writes always touch me the deepest. They are all so very poignantly direct. I always enjoy reading you.
|
|
|
Post by Veritas on Sept 29, 2015 23:04:47 GMT -5
prayer of hurt, purdy... again as is, IMHO .
|
|
|
Post by wickedwrite on Oct 11, 2015 22:43:36 GMT -5
I enjoyed this. I don't know if there is anything I would change. Please keep writing.
|
|