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Post by twistedangel on Apr 21, 2015 1:27:58 GMT -5
You say, thy would write me love songs You say, thy would sing me sonnets
I say, thee nice but nieve I say, thee know not love if thee know not hate
Stain not clean paper with fantasies of ink
For I be hatred, personified therefore my love, tho rare, is of purest kind
As for thee my dear thou art not worthy of it
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Post by vincentaugustemanet on Apr 21, 2015 15:48:08 GMT -5
I like this but I'm scared to comment since I had to look up the different between thee and thou (which I guess are both just 'you' in modern english)... so I guess I feel unqualified to comment more than saying I liked it.
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Post by twistedangel on Apr 22, 2015 8:50:48 GMT -5
TBH Vincent i think i actually got them mixed up S1 should be 'thee' and S2 'thy'..ill dig some more an edit if i git it wrong
☺
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Apr 22, 2015 13:03:04 GMT -5
The English words "thou, thee, thy and thine" are translated from an emphatic Greek and Hebrew personal pronoun, stressing the identity of the one being addressed to the exclusion of all others. While I have been known to write in old English I’ve never really been a big fan of “Thou, thee, thy and thine” because of its biblical relationship and I tend to reserve it for that purpose only. Which means I don’t use it at all anymore. LOL Here is a chart that will help with its proper usage and spelling; Notice that they are only used in the second person when referring to the singular but I think you know that already. It is the Nominative, and Objective that make their usage a bit confusing. The possessive is generally more obvious. Nominative and Objective - In language, a nominative generally refers to the subject of a sentence, which is the performer of the verb in the sentence. For example, in the sentence, "The dog ran," "dog" is the nominative, because it's the performer of the verb "ran." An objective refers to a recipient or object of a verb or preposition. In the sentence, "Bill threw the ball," "ball" is an objective noun because it is the recipient of the verb "threw." So, in L1 and L2 “thy” should be “thee.” The usage in the last two lines is correct. I like everything else about this poem and even the use of old English has an appeal here. Most of us don’t consider the relationships of love and hate. We tend to think of them as totally separate things when they are in reality very closely tied together. Some (myself included) may even say that at their root they the very same passion. If you doubt this then think of this; When filled with “love,” to a heightened level, what is the drive we pull from to defend that same love and what happens to that love when we find it has been betrayed by the one we profess to love? How unreasonable do we become in the extreme of either emotion? Love and hate are really the two extreme ends of the same driving emotion.
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Post by Aish on Apr 22, 2015 16:46:19 GMT -5
Big kudos for the direct psychological hit of the title, I love it.
I have no idea if your use of "thy" in S1 is correct, but it sounds wonky to me. I also think you could effectively cut out both uses of " You say". S2 (in my head) would read better as "thou art".
This is a delectable little piece, Angel. I have enjoyed it thoroughly.
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