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Post by twistedangel on Mar 18, 2015 2:26:52 GMT -5
He carries no arms Wars with none Labours with sweated brow Toiling calloused hands "Fair days pay for fair days work" Provider Husband Father The quiet hero
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Post by vincentaugustemanet on Mar 18, 2015 7:35:16 GMT -5
Simple but really interesting. I really like the delivery and meter of the end.
Was looking around a bit and aprtly odes are supposed to have a specific format, and I think you followed it! Was this meant to have the strophe, antistrophe, epode format?
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Mar 18, 2015 15:41:13 GMT -5
I like this and any tribute to an unsung hero.
Unfortunately, he may carry no weapons and not be in open conflict/war, but he is always robed. Even under a society of laws. The bandits just become politicians and we call it government instead of crime. There is no such thing as an honest day's pay, nothing above the poverty level anyway.
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Mar 22, 2015 13:14:48 GMT -5
I once met a man with three ex-wives. He worked as a lawyer, looked like death wormed over, had stomach problems, and complained about his life constantly. Other than that he seemed like a nice guy, really hated his job, and wanted to go back to what he loved doing for a living before becoming a lawyer (I can’t remember what that was ATM). I asked him why he doesn’t do just that and he said; "I have three ex-wives." After talking with him for a couple hours I remember thinking; now there is a man fighting a losing battle without any weapons.
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Post by Moonstone Maiden on Apr 16, 2015 20:40:47 GMT -5
I love this. We get so caught up with idolising the CEOs of huge companies, with watching dramas on tv about the rich stabbing each other in the back, we forget about the unsung heroes. But yet we don't need lawyers and socialites to live, we need food.
I really enjoyed the lack of punctuation.
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Post by twistedangel on Apr 20, 2015 1:21:40 GMT -5
Cheers peeps Vincent any correct format by myself am soz to say is purley accidental lol i never knew they had...but will Google it the
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Post by vincentaugustemanet on Apr 21, 2015 13:13:45 GMT -5
+1 lol
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Post by brainkisser on May 20, 2015 1:57:15 GMT -5
Hi twistedangel, I enjoy this poem and the homage it pays to the unsung heroes. It seems to me to be about perhaps a working class man, the provider that takes care of his family, expecting nothing in return. The image of his "sweated brow" and non-confrontational manner characterize him very well, in such a short amount of lines too. I like what the last four lines are saying, and it's obvious it was intended to be a short poem, but if you ever consider a radical revision maybe consider using imagery to describe "Husband/father" the way you have shown us provider in the preceding lines, rather than listing. Cheers Brain
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LSD
Crimson Soul
She needs me, but I need her.
Posts: 102
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Post by LSD on Jul 24, 2015 21:52:17 GMT -5
Aren't we all unsung heroes
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Post by Veritas on Oct 26, 2015 20:16:53 GMT -5
my your an idealist , lol, got john Lennon song for Brit! working class hero
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Post by awesomebill on Dec 16, 2015 13:28:55 GMT -5
He carries no arms Wars with none Labours with sweated brow Toiling calloused hands "Fair days pay for fair days work" Provider Husband Father The quiet hero This 'ere poem plucks more heartstrings than most of them dangone songs of this age.
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