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Seeking
Feb 21, 2015 17:41:17 GMT -5
Post by fourtimefelon on Feb 21, 2015 17:41:17 GMT -5
"She is as She was that which She will always be" Nice
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Seeking
Feb 21, 2015 18:17:50 GMT -5
Post by Bastet on Feb 21, 2015 18:17:50 GMT -5
True to that which Nature has bestowed upon her She is as She was that which She will always be I think a colon would be appropriate here. A Creature of darkness A Raven beauty This is somewhat ambiguous. I have read it two ways. She has dark beauty like a raven, and that she has dark hair. Might I suggest something to clear that up a bit? Either " A raven's beauty" or " a raven tressed beauty". Skin like Snow Her Scars tell a story Maybe consider something like "Her scars write a story".Of Lessons learned in blood Of Love lost Of Lust un fulfilled Too many "of"s. I would suggest
Her scars write a story of lessons learned in blood lost loves and unfulfilled lust
She is that of the darkness She is that of the dying She is that of the Searching "That" is commonly overused. You really don't need it in any of these lines, but is fine in your last line down below.She is that which I seek
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