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Post by childofinsanity on Jan 23, 2015 7:43:04 GMT -5
I'm new here...hope this is in the right place!
Believe the lies, their deathly preach, deluded sheep, their clones to teach. The human race is lost to blindness, Drained of love, affection, kindness. Twisted, sadistic chess board game, They play us and they have no shame. Only pawns, one move at a time, Don't step out, keep in the line. Guided by the puppeteer, To dominate us by our fear. We're your safety, we're your friend, All this chaos we will end. What a pack of f*cking lies, When will we open our robot eyes. We kill and slaughter in gods name, What god is this that has such reign. That we follow against our intuition, Save the world..? Is that our mission. Wake up u who sleep so long, Can't u see this shits all wrong. Conspiracy theorist..? I think not, Look at all the proof we've got. Or is it that we feel so small, Tiny voice and this is all. But not together, not united, Don't wait until u get invited. Hear the piper he's, calling to u, Look within, your soul knows what to do. Say no to all the bullshit lies, Wake up before your spirit dies. You don't have to be a clone, Open your eyes, we're not alone. They make me sick with their smarmy demeanour, Butter u up and make u keener, To believe the lies they spit down on us, Controlling our minds so we don't make a fuss. Shall I tell u a secret, they're really just scared, Behind that slick smile, hidden teeth bared. For they know that they're f*cked, they know what is coming, The Mothers children will awaken so they better start running. No drones for their back up, we opened our eyes, No longer stand back while the innocent dies. Together we will stand on the crest of our revolution, Revealing our light, the united solution. Together we stand but never to fall as we answered our fate and we followed our call!
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Post by twistedangel on Jan 23, 2015 13:06:20 GMT -5
the simple aabb rhyme scheme...somtimes i miss thoes days I kinda liked the sing sing feel this has until about 2/3 down ..with the longer sentences it got tiresome TBH, shorter punchier lines are far better The message wos good if a little disjointed...going from 'they' to the 'puppeteer' deffo the right board for this, loving the passion an welome to DS ...tho you kinda caught us on a quiet patch at the mo
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Post by Moonstone Maiden on Apr 16, 2015 20:36:00 GMT -5
Welcome to Dark Star! Wonderfully passionate first post, thanks for sharing. I agree with everything twistedangel mentioned.
I found that moving from 'you' to 'u' was very distracting, and its something I advise against.
'They make me sick with their smarmy demeanour, Butter u up and make u keener,' I love this!
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