jmcc16
Dark Initiate
Posts: 42
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Post by jmcc16 on Jan 14, 2015 3:36:12 GMT -5
You were lying on your back screaming
Tripped over the puppy and fell
Disks ruptured but then
Too much pain
What’s wrong
Everything’s wrong
And then nothing
No pain anymore
Nothing
Nothing is much worse than pain
I learned that then
Nothing - is not good
Nothing - chained everything
Sometimes I wish you hadn’t stopped screaming
What kind of man wishes his wife never stopped screaming
They called it “cauda equine syndrome”
I call it the moment she
My beautiful wife stopped trusting
That I would love her unconditionally
I don’t care that she can’t feel me when I touch her
It’s that she doesn’t want me to touch her
I love her.
I want to hold her
Tell her she will never be alone
That absence of feeling does not need to cause absence of feeling
I will be here till her dying day
Waiting
Trusting one day she will trust me with this
We sleep in separate beds now
All I want is hold her again
Forever
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Jan 15, 2015 1:19:57 GMT -5
Ummm… Wow, that sucks. My prayers go out to you and your wife.
“Nothing is much worse than pain.” – I wholeheartedly agree.
“Nothing - chained everything” – I think you meant changed.
Poetically, this needs a lot of work, it’s very raw. On that note, some things just need to be said and we don’t particularly care how poetically we say it and my thoughts wander more towards concern than poetry as I read this. The most likely scenario is that she won’t feel worthy of your love or your company. Her love may even make her want to set you free of her. The road ahead is not easy for either of you but what choice does your love leave you? I wish I could advise you as to how to convince her that is all wrong but my own lover set me free of her and I’ve only suffered for not knowing that answer. I wish you love and luck.
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Post by twistedangel on Jan 16, 2015 9:42:28 GMT -5
gotta say i like the use of 'chained', the image it gives, an also the phisical weight of it adds somthing a little more that 'changed' yeah 'poetic' it isnt but its an honest an aggressive write would like to think its made up an all fiction, but somthing tells me its not one thing that cant be denied is how heart wrenching this is, i hope a lot more will read this and comment
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jmcc16
Dark Initiate
Posts: 42
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Post by jmcc16 on Jan 17, 2015 20:31:06 GMT -5
Thank you both. Yes this is not my best work at all. But I had to say it. I had to tell the truth.
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