Eric, she said, you are a man, don't you understand? My sinister ways?
The way this goes? The way to be?
How to act...when you're with me...?
Dialogue needs quotation marks. The opener is out of step with the remainder of the piece, written from a different POV. I suggest you remove it.There's silence upon my eyes, only to find a sandy truth.
This is the strongest point in the poem for me. It needs some revision, but I like "silence upon my eyes" and "sandy truth". I'm trapped by a siren that won't let me go hurt and free.
I must move beyond this place of depression,
Obsession and regression.
To my truthful way where I should stay.
Alone in time and space, you're just a pretty face, your smooth body in lace,
The drunken look on your innocent face.
My heart begins to race, as you take lines to the face.
Your image etched as perfect broken beauty...
"Your image etched as broken beauty" is nice.But the mind of a kind soul I know and love,
Beg me for blow. Get down so low. On your knees. An image of craving and satisfaction.
I have a bug, an itch on my stitch.
Powder puffs away by the end of the day,
I am the Brave and the Slave
To my pale skin princess...
She loves to hate me.
The final line is fitting.
Hi, iconico. "Her sinister ways" could be used at some point. Overall, I think you should pull out some of the ideas you can't bear to part with and start over. The rhyme really cheapens this in my opinion. I can maybe (MAYBE) hear this as a spoken word piece with a quick erratic pace, but as a written piece it falls very flat for me as the reader.
Thanks for sharing, and welcome to Dark Star.