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Post by twistedangel on Jul 23, 2014 6:52:24 GMT -5
Your oppressive wieght Obscures my will Under tyrannical glare
Binded by jealousy Anchored with fear Suffocated in steel words Tethered by turbulent chains Aching to be free Rid meself of you Die you bastard, just DIE
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Post by windfog on Jul 23, 2014 12:56:12 GMT -5
Amen! Cool piece! Real rage & pure, not murky feelings - just! I like it! W.F.
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Post by LonelyForsaken on Jul 24, 2014 12:35:13 GMT -5
I do so much like your short writes. This should be very easy for many to relate to. Well written. S2, L1 and L2 – swap “by” and “with” and “Binded (is that even a word) should be bound. “Bound by jealousy Anchored with fear” The end – a little more dramatic maybe. “Die you bastard, just… DIE”
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Post by Bastet on Aug 1, 2014 12:32:35 GMT -5
Normally I would say S1L3 is unnecessary, but since it's an acrostic you can't do away with it.
Nice and venomous.
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krake
Crimson Soul
Posts: 79
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Post by krake on Aug 1, 2014 20:04:30 GMT -5
There's the freya I know. Rage looks good on you.
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Post by twistedangel on Aug 2, 2014 16:26:01 GMT -5
Cheers guys an Krake...theres a weird looking hump in me patio
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mee
Crimson Soul
Posts: 117
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Post by mee on Aug 18, 2014 8:10:22 GMT -5
done a bit of landscaping , can sort that out for you , get them gone and Always :_)
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Post by porcelain on Sept 12, 2014 0:43:27 GMT -5
Oh wow. I sure can relate to the feeling in this piece. Good write (:
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