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Post by Veritas on May 25, 2014 18:43:44 GMT -5
What type of writer are you seeking to become? What type of criticism are you willing to receive? How long have you been writing? I ask these questions formally & politely, to lay a frame work for future interaction & discussion?
-LMS
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Post by Aish on May 27, 2014 1:58:33 GMT -5
To carry an abyss inside yourself is to know a true contradiction, Something so contrary to this world of physics and logic. Does it really defy physics?How can something so dark and so empty be so painful and heavy? A universe within a body, a solar plexus with a solar system. A universe made up of so much dark matter, a black hole that sucks you in, destroys and devastates inside this shell where nothing lies, is chaos. A few suggestions:To carry an abyss inside is a study in contradiction, something contrary to my understanding of physics and logic. How can something so empty be so heavy?
A universe within a body, a solar plexus with a solar system. The microcosm is chaos.I don't honestly want you to take my additions and subtractions literally, it's just to give you a concrete example to look at. As it is the piece reads as a personal journal entry instead of poetry.
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sambo
Dark Initiate
Posts: 23
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Post by sambo on May 27, 2014 16:18:25 GMT -5
Im not sure what you mean about type of writer? Can you elaborate? Im willing to recieve polite constructive critisisms, I havnt been writting long at all. I only started a few weeks ago. Thanks .. And aish I do prefere your wording in my first part to my own. I was just writting things down as they came out, as descriptive as my head gave them out. Perhaps I should work on condensing them down like you have here. Thank you. Sent from my C1905 using Tapatalk
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Post by Aish on May 27, 2014 20:52:15 GMT -5
Im not sure what you mean about type of writer? Can you elaborate? Im willing to recieve polite constructive critisisms, I havnt been writting long at all. I only started a few weeks ago. Thanks .. And aish I do prefere your wording in my first part to my own. I was just writting things down as they came out, as descriptive as my head gave them out. Perhaps I should work on condensing them down like you have here. Thank you. Sent from my C1905 using Tapatalk Writing things down as they occur (dumping) is how I begin my process, too. The more you write and the more experience you get under your belt with the editing process the more cohesive your pieces will become. Asking questions helps us get a feel for you. I'm curious as to what poets you read? In the beginning many people mimic what they are familiar with stylistically and eventually find their own unique voice over time. Reading other poets also helps you get a sense of rhythm, meter, using strophes, etc.
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sambo
Dark Initiate
Posts: 23
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Post by sambo on May 28, 2014 16:13:45 GMT -5
Okay, I guess that practice really does make perfect lol. Ill continue to write and try and excercise these things as im going. I'll be perfectly honest with you I havnt read any poetry since I studied it in school, ive never really found one that I like apart from Edgar Allen Poe. So hes all ive ever read since then on a semi regular basis.
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Post by Veritas on May 29, 2014 1:15:53 GMT -5
Try: Rimbaud, Baudelaire, Bukowski, Czeslaw Milosz, Omar Khayyam, Oscar Wilde, Jim Morrison.
-LMS
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sambo
Dark Initiate
Posts: 23
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Post by sambo on May 29, 2014 6:28:30 GMT -5
Okay will do. Thanks a lot.
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Post by Aish on May 29, 2014 11:07:20 GMT -5
And I'll throw Fanny Howe, Yusef Komunyakaa, Andrea Gibson, Shinji Moon, Ingrid Jonker, Tagore, Anne Sexton, Mike Lane, Chana Bloch, and John Fante.
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