Post by LonelyForsaken on Feb 8, 2015 0:04:43 GMT -5
These are some interesting arguments. Our modern society should shoulder some of the blame. The women they continuously parade down the cat walk are all unrealistically skinny and I believe this is a major contributor to both anorexia and bulimia. They aren’t the only problems though. Men tend to flock to slender women at bars and such. The psychology behind that one is extensive but we all notice the results. Personally I don’t like to play the blame game even in things like this. I don’t mean to sound callous but this disorder originates from focusing too much on self image. We all want to be attractive but the line between healthy concern and obsessed is not all that thin. The first goal should always be physical and mental health with an aim towards longevity.
Worrying about what other people think is unavoidable, it is part of our social makeup, but too much of anything is a bad thing. Oxygen and water are good things but too much of either will kill you too. Obsession is always a bad thing. It leads to disorders. And this leads my point into buzz words or the perceptions of some of our words in general. I don’t like the word crazy myself. It’s not an all bad word. Eg; “Man! That was a crazy ride,” doesn’t necessarily mean a bad thing. When we call someone crazy what we really mean is that they are different but the ones who hear it will generally perceive the meaning to mean the subject is so wrong in some way that they should be avoided. The word “disorder” has taken on the same kinds of connotations. I partly blame the whole PC (politically correct) movement. The idea was an extension of being and using kinder/gentler words but these ideas ultimately just confuse the situation and move us away from “keeping it real.” LOL
The notion of “perfection” is just wrong. We are human so it isn’t attainable anyway. Anyone obsessed enough to achieve an Adonis type body must have had to make sacrifices and is probably so full of “disorders” that their personality will offset the notion of perfection on a social level.
Ultimately your friend needs to examine her idea of self image. She needs to understand that there is one that fits her well, the healthy one. Too skinny or too fat doesn’t work for anyone. That healthy range isn’t all that narrow either. If she has an active lifestyle she will naturally be slender and if she is a couch potato she will be on the soft and plump side. There is no one size fits all despite what we take from the fashion industry. What they are really trying to sell is the notion that if you buy this dress you will look this good. To me they all look like their one step away from being an auschwitz victim anyway but it is her perception that needs to be addressed. The first step is getting her to admit that she has a serious problem. Until she does that she won’t even try to break the habit.
The habit may be the hardest part but… You said she knows she should stop but doesn’t want to. You also said; “…if she stops throwing up for a while, she'll start cutting really bad.” Her disorders are bigger than eating habits. She is extremely dissatisfied with her self image and there is extreme emotional pain. It is now a very serious and complicated situation. She needs all the support she can get and professional help. Professional help or not she needs to open up and address her emotional issues and the source.
I just noticed that this is almost 11 years old. I hope she is better now.
Ravenwing – I wish more people were open minded about the positive aspects of marijuana. It can definitely help with eating disorders but she has even bigger issues. Her eating disorder is a symptom and not the real problem but marijuana may actually help, it is often effective with all kinds of pain, even emotional pain. Even if it does help the only cure is to get at the source of her emotional pain. It pisses me off that we never try to get to the sources anymore. We just cover it up with drugs. The hard part is that she is suppressing the real issue so the problem is beginning to manifest into other issues. She is going to need support. She is going to need to trust someone enough to talk to them about her secret issue. If it where me trying to help the first thing I’d do is just sit with her and burn a blunt. Maybe start by share a bowl of ice cream but start sharing. Share stories and life experiences. Share loves and hates. Share my own pain with her. Listen to some music. All the time trying to get her to open up about her real pain but not pushing her to do so. That kind of pain is incredibly hard to deal with and there are a number of things that have to happen before she can be ready to share it.
Worrying about what other people think is unavoidable, it is part of our social makeup, but too much of anything is a bad thing. Oxygen and water are good things but too much of either will kill you too. Obsession is always a bad thing. It leads to disorders. And this leads my point into buzz words or the perceptions of some of our words in general. I don’t like the word crazy myself. It’s not an all bad word. Eg; “Man! That was a crazy ride,” doesn’t necessarily mean a bad thing. When we call someone crazy what we really mean is that they are different but the ones who hear it will generally perceive the meaning to mean the subject is so wrong in some way that they should be avoided. The word “disorder” has taken on the same kinds of connotations. I partly blame the whole PC (politically correct) movement. The idea was an extension of being and using kinder/gentler words but these ideas ultimately just confuse the situation and move us away from “keeping it real.” LOL
The notion of “perfection” is just wrong. We are human so it isn’t attainable anyway. Anyone obsessed enough to achieve an Adonis type body must have had to make sacrifices and is probably so full of “disorders” that their personality will offset the notion of perfection on a social level.
Ultimately your friend needs to examine her idea of self image. She needs to understand that there is one that fits her well, the healthy one. Too skinny or too fat doesn’t work for anyone. That healthy range isn’t all that narrow either. If she has an active lifestyle she will naturally be slender and if she is a couch potato she will be on the soft and plump side. There is no one size fits all despite what we take from the fashion industry. What they are really trying to sell is the notion that if you buy this dress you will look this good. To me they all look like their one step away from being an auschwitz victim anyway but it is her perception that needs to be addressed. The first step is getting her to admit that she has a serious problem. Until she does that she won’t even try to break the habit.
The habit may be the hardest part but… You said she knows she should stop but doesn’t want to. You also said; “…if she stops throwing up for a while, she'll start cutting really bad.” Her disorders are bigger than eating habits. She is extremely dissatisfied with her self image and there is extreme emotional pain. It is now a very serious and complicated situation. She needs all the support she can get and professional help. Professional help or not she needs to open up and address her emotional issues and the source.
I just noticed that this is almost 11 years old. I hope she is better now.
Ravenwing – I wish more people were open minded about the positive aspects of marijuana. It can definitely help with eating disorders but she has even bigger issues. Her eating disorder is a symptom and not the real problem but marijuana may actually help, it is often effective with all kinds of pain, even emotional pain. Even if it does help the only cure is to get at the source of her emotional pain. It pisses me off that we never try to get to the sources anymore. We just cover it up with drugs. The hard part is that she is suppressing the real issue so the problem is beginning to manifest into other issues. She is going to need support. She is going to need to trust someone enough to talk to them about her secret issue. If it where me trying to help the first thing I’d do is just sit with her and burn a blunt. Maybe start by share a bowl of ice cream but start sharing. Share stories and life experiences. Share loves and hates. Share my own pain with her. Listen to some music. All the time trying to get her to open up about her real pain but not pushing her to do so. That kind of pain is incredibly hard to deal with and there are a number of things that have to happen before she can be ready to share it.