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Post by Time_Spinner on Sept 10, 2005 13:01:57 GMT -5
feh. a lot of people like us are discrimated alot for the way we look and at. we are stereotyped as devil worshippers. im into tarot cards and witchcraft, but i still have loyal friends who think im the coolest thing to have happened to their school (i go to a prep school, haha) so we deal. they the one's who are gonna suffer anyway.
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Post by Morbid_Wolf on Sept 10, 2005 14:33:08 GMT -5
I know where you're comming from. I'm into Wicca and Thelema.
Wicca is usually seen as devil worshipping, the slaughter of animals, blah..blahh... And then thelema, no one really knows about. Then mention Aleister Crowley, and everyone comes flaming with their crosses of sanctuary and exorcism. Haha, but that's another story.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not against christians or catholics or any religion for that matter [though I sometimes question scientology] But I don't really favor the perverted version of it.
But hey, guess what? God loves me anyway, right? That's why she's sending me to hell.
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Post by colourlessthoughts on Sept 13, 2005 22:47:39 GMT -5
November 4, 1980 I was born into a family with two loving parents and an 11 year old brother. Southern California was my place of birth. My father was a chemical engineer with a powder company so we moved around a lot. Georgia, Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and New York were all places I lived before the age of 7. When I was 7 we moved back to where we started in Mission Viejo, CA. A few weeks prior to my 8th birthday my parents went to the Florida Keys with my father’s business partner. My brother now 18 drove us to a small airport to pick them up. We waited at the hanger looking for the small puddle jumper they were coming in on. The landing gear did not fully deploy, and the planes radio was out, so the tower had no way of telling them of the problem. I witnessed my parents tumble in flames down the runway. For three years I didn’t speak a word. My brother was given custody of me because my father had placed it in the will. He was worried and took me to doctors. I was put on all sorts of medication and was constantly poked at mentally by psycho therapists. This is when I started having focal seizures and my colour blindness began. My father left us with 3 homes and 500 acres of land in Pennsylvania. My brother asked me, “Matthew do you want to pick up and leave this place,” talking of my parents home. This immediately struck a nerve and flashed me back to when my mom used to tell me we were going to move. I spoke telling him I didn’t want to be called that anymore. That it reminded me to much of our mother, so that was when he started calling me by our last name Cain, Little Cain he would call me. At the time I had but one friend, Jennifer, she was 12 and had known me since my birth through a family friend. Over the years we grew to love one another. At the age of 15 I graduated from high school. Earlier that same year Jennifer had our daughter and I named her Jessica. Two weeks later tragedy struck again. Jennifer and I were driving to pick up something to eat while my brother watched over the baby. We both didn’t want to go because our daughter was so young, but we hadn’t been out of the house in two weeks. We were hit by a drunk driver that night. The next morning Jennifer had lost her life. I still blame myself. Jennifer’s parents fought for custody for two years, but by that time I was 18 and had a lot more money than they did, so it was dropped from the courts. After that I took us as far away as possible. We moved to Vancouver Canada, and I attend Victoria College as a science major. I complete three and a half years of college in two years. I didn’t finish I dropped out and started an adventure company in Whistler, B.C. with my brother. We had some hard times throughout a 5 year span. A couple of people died on my trips due to weather conditions. So the company went in the shitter. Then my daughter got sick. Meningococcal was her illness. It is a disease of the spine. I was stressed so I moved to our house in Laguna Beach, Ca. I started having seizures again and lost all colour in my vision. December 26th, 2004 my daughter past. Lately I have been jumping all over the place from Lake Tahoe, CA back down to Newport Beach, CA and recently to Argentina to visit friends. I just started school again. I will go to school to get my PhD in physical therapy and open a practice with my brother. I have always written my thoughts down. It’s my one release beside hallucinogenic drugs. Lately I have had troubles taking care of my self. I know everyone who loves me would want me too, so I try. Every morning I look in the mirror and all I see is my mother, father, Jennifer, and Jessica. I can't sleep, eat, think, have fun, I just want all of this to end....nicely. That’s the vague gist.
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Post by Yossarian on Sept 19, 2005 14:00:47 GMT -5
oh my god...I had no idea...I'm so sorry.
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Post by colourlessthoughts on Sept 19, 2005 23:01:07 GMT -5
there is no need... i have had a very full life... the bad just happend to take the good... there will always be room happiness down the road... i remain optimistic
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Post by DarkCloud on Sept 21, 2005 14:02:12 GMT -5
Greetings!
hey man key thing is you've lost your love ones but youre still alive, so thats got to mean something. and you still have your brother by your side one of the reasons pulling you through & keeping you strong.
just take care of yourself and have faith.
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Ender
Dark Initiate
Speaker for the Dead
Posts: 23
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Post by Ender on Oct 27, 2005 22:39:42 GMT -5
My name is Emily. I live in Rochester NY. I have 11 cats, 1 rat, 2 horses, 1 dog, 13 plants, and a salamander. They are all my fault. :-)
I'm sixteen and an aspiring chemist. I love anime and manga. (Neon Genesis Evangelion, Naruto, Sailor Moon, Cowboy Beebop, Wolf's Rain) I have been a vegetarian for 4 years.
I like to write, but I hate to share it. I would rather read other peoples work- But I am terrible at reveiwing.
I love to swim, and am part of a swim team. I love sharks more than any other animal.
My favourite poet is Walt Whitman, But my favorite book is The Hero and the Crown. I have over 2,500 books in my room. (I live between the pages of books)
I play the piano, violin, euphonium, and trombone. I don't like to sing, or talk. Ever. My favourite colour is green. Sometimes when I feel very alone- I do stupid things. But recently I have gotten better at handling my anger. I have an anger problem.
I have a cousin named Kay. I spent the entire summer with her, traveling around. I saw just about everything there is to see in the country. (Including prostitutes in Indianapolis) I fell in love with Sacramento. I like to dance when I am by myself.
I love the sciences, and anything to do with them. Chemistry makes me tingle. In all the good ways.
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Post by Yossarian on Oct 28, 2005 14:10:00 GMT -5
holy shit! are you my female twin?? (except for the chemistry part - I hated chemistry when I was in high school...) welcome to Dark Star, ender, hope to see you around.
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DarkenTheSky
Demon Disciple
Beneath the Watery Lust Garden, my Secret Lies. . .
Posts: 392
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Post by DarkenTheSky on Oct 29, 2005 3:25:54 GMT -5
emily, out of curiosity, and my recent desire to find a common ground with others, could this tingle from chemistry slightly result from any mind altering substances?
i've found chemistry to be a great interest to me as of late as well, and it too gives me sorts of satisfactions.
anyways. . .
my name is kendra dixon. i'm 17, and i live in Healy, Alaska. population 600 until summer when it jumps to about 1,000. i'm an artist, i'm a writer, i'm a musician to a point. i'm also a philosopher, a thinker, a questioner, and a searcher of knowledge.
i don't hate. i've gotten over that hurdle within the last few years, and have understood that hate is the result of love. . . i either love somebody or i feel absolutely nothing for that person, complete and utter apathy. hating someone takes away the love i have for another.
i've recently lost the love of my life and my best friend, luckily not to suicide. not the love of my life sexually, but i'll never love someone as much as i love her. she's abandoned me on a personal level, and has been sent off to a military-style boarding school for her problems mentally, and everyone refuses to release information to me.
i've been used and have used someone for sex. and i've knowingly put myself through too many forms of degradation to count. i've gotten drunk in order to smile, i've gotten stoned for the same reason. neither work well and make me sick. the one in love with me started me on meth in order to hurt me as bad as i had hurt him. . . and when it is available, i still use it, because i still want to live in the hopes that these few people will come back to me, and without it i feel hopelessly lost.
i find it difficult to write poetry much anymore because i write in response to what others have written that i connect to and have found little to connect with lately.
i live with my mother, my brother (14) and my sister (4), my father up and left the state one day to arizona, he gets the desire to roam from his depression during winter here. (he and my mother havn't been together since i was 2, so he didn't leave US).
i've tried cutting myself to remind me that i shouldn't complain to anyone because i have no reason to.
i'm open to any religion, but really i just believe in myself. . .
all of my ex boyfriends have been drug dealers, beautiful, and sad creatures.
i find it difficult to talk about myself or explain myself because lately im not sure i really know myself anymore. . . but i can talk about things that have happened. . .
i dont understand how people can judge others by their actions. . . i judge others by their. . . reasons, emotions, personality, the soul that compells them inside. . .
i've worked housekeeping, barista, chevron employee, and hottopic sales associate. i have my ears, tongue, and temple pierced. my hair is orange. the bacardi bat is tattooed on my foot.
ive been known as an old soul, a rebel, beautiful, worthless, mentally ill, and suicidal. and i dont know if i am all or any of these things.
requiem for a dream is my favorite movie, it comforts me, and i'm addicted to being happy. i dont do drugs when im happy. and when i'm not happy, the withdrawls kill me. im not good at handling being apathetic or anything other than happy.
i feel there is a million other things i want to say. . . but i dont know what or why or how to say them. . .
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Ender
Dark Initiate
Speaker for the Dead
Posts: 23
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Post by Ender on Oct 29, 2005 18:09:23 GMT -5
Well, it's good to know there are others out there like me....:-p
If this tingling is from mind altering substances- than I hope I can have more.
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Post by _black phoenix_ on Nov 3, 2005 14:01:16 GMT -5
Everyone calls me leash. im 20 years old and live in bc, canada. ive been meaning to write up a proper autobiography on here for a while, but im lazy and like to procrastinate.
i have a large family. many cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. two parents recently sepereated, three younger sisters, and a lovable dog named kato(like the superhero.) i miss him more than anyone else.
i grew up in the countryside for most of my life.. nature became an important part of my life. i wouldnt call myself a hippy, but i have many hippyish-type beliefs. i dont follow a set religion. i accept others and their beliefs as long as they dont push them on me.
i like to paint, although.. i tend to find other things to do with my time. creativity has been ignored for the last few months and i feel guilty for it. i dont watch much tv, but i love hockey and the odd sitcom/cartoon.
i go running when im angry.
i can spot a deer from a million miles away. any animal for that matter. wicked vision on this girl.
i hate starting every paragraph with "i" like this. also, i dont like capital letters or these things '. im sure youve never seen me use one on the site until now. bad grammar and spelling drives me nuts.. i find it hard to respect poetry when its slapped together without effort.
speaking of poetry..
i have been writing for about five to six years now. lately ive had a dry spell. i get blocks often, usually lasting several months. right now im just too busy to read or write or do anything. i feel like a piece of my life has been ripped away.
i have met several people through dark star that have made a huge impact on my life. you guys have helped me through many rough spots. my life has been forever changed because of the members and writing at ds. the two of you(you know who you are)will always hold a place in my heart, no matter what happens.
currently, im living with my boyfriend, sean. both of us are very mellow and down to earth people. im going to quit my job because i cant sit still.. i need change.. quick pace.. i might have ADD? maybe mild dislexia too.
i wish i could write a better biography for you guys. im sure that mine was a bit dull compared to everyone elses, but what can you do?
forever your loving admin,
- leash
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Post by Yossarian on Nov 3, 2005 14:45:51 GMT -5
ah, we love ya, leash. ;D
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Post by Moonstone Maiden on Nov 8, 2005 0:05:58 GMT -5
Oh mi god! Leash is Russian? Hmm. I find this embarrassing, but here goes: I'm 13 (the same age as Chyrs' son). My full name is Lucy Susan Murphy Hull, although I think it should be Luci Murphy. I'm a Pisces, born on the 2nd of March. I was born in a back-yard pool (how sweet is that, not many people can say that) My Chinese horoscope is the Monkey, under the sign of Water. A Wiccan, leaning towards paganism. I'm all for familiarity, people and places that are the same, yet it all gets too boring after a while. Speaking of boring, nothing much has been happening lately over here, in Australia. Mm. The Government is trying to dump nuclear waste not that far from where I live. I've lived in a total of 10 different houses. I'm still trying to decide what I do and don't like. Want to travell Europe, too young. Want to become a published author, too inexperienced. Want to become someone I know, too confused. I'm 163 cm tall. Horray. I'm so tall. Aren't I? I'm a chunk Irish, part Scottish, a slice English, a smudge German, and full-on Australian. I guess I'm a mungrel-breed, if you like. Mm. Shit happens I guess. Carry on.
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Post by Time_Spinner on Apr 24, 2006 21:36:47 GMT -5
and i always though you were older than me...im fifteen!!!
you are my little sister, Luce. isit okay if i call you that?
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Post by tomblillies on Aug 9, 2006 16:14:43 GMT -5
I presume this is a place to post introductions, so here it begins: My name is Arthur, and am of the age sixteen. I live in the US, stuck for now in the state of Virginia (a conservate hell, so to speak). My Interests consist mainly of Art and Music, with some dabbling in Wicca and nature in general. At this point, there is not much more to say...
-Tomb Lillies
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