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Dark Star Poetry Forum

Dark Star Poetry : Forum :: Poetry :: Morbid Thoughts :: The Battle
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AuthorTopic: The Battle (Read 48 times)
bloodtrails
Crimson Soul
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Inside your mind



Joined: Dec 2008
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The Battle
« Thread Started on Oct 27, 2009, 3:51pm »		[Quote]




The Battle



same shackles bind me
same jackals grind me
same heart is blindly
losing edge, declining.

fate again is lost
through hate and lust
debating trust
creating thrust
pushing rust
to dust.

and i shall cry no feathers !
my mind is plucked
my wings shall tatter
and i shall crack.

same chains command me
same blame demands me
same chores expanding
losing sane, gladly.



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calamityroo
Satans Minion
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Every one has a hard luck story... We just tell it differently

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Re: The Battle
« Reply #1 on Nov 5, 2009, 11:39am »		[Quote]
Hello again... I liked this piece as is. The flow was pretty awesome and I could really feel and see where it was going. The andy warhol at the end there is an awesome addition. It would look pretty awesome if you could stretch the picture out and put the poem over the picture, altering the color of the words as the cross from the black to the white, but that is just a thought from little ol' roo. Anyways, great write!
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Grow up,
Grow old,
Die happy....
bloodtrails
Crimson Soul
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Inside your mind



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Re: The Battle
« Reply #2 on Nov 5, 2009, 1:34pm »		[Quote]

Nov 5, 2009, 11:39am, calamityroo wrote:
Hello again... I liked this piece as is. The flow was pretty awesome and I could really feel and see where it was going. The andy warhol at the end there is an awesome addition. It would look pretty awesome if you could stretch the picture out and put the poem over the picture, altering the color of the words as the cross from the black to the white, but that is just a thought from little ol' roo. Anyways, great write!

Thank you again, calamity.
I did try to fit it as you said.....but failed.
It's harder then it seems to do that....
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calamityroo
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Every one has a hard luck story... We just tell it differently

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Posts: 608
Location: DE
Re: The Battle
« Reply #3 on Nov 7, 2009, 9:45pm »		[Quote]
Yeah... I tend to find things that will look awesome and are actually very difficult to do. Mind if I have a go at it? I just got some new toys that I have been dieing to try out and this little project would be perfect. If not, I understand.
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Grow up,
Grow old,
Die happy....
bloodtrails
Crimson Soul
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Inside your mind



Joined: Dec 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 134
Re: The Battle
« Reply #4 on Nov 8, 2009, 6:19am »		[Quote]

Nov 7, 2009, 9:45pm, calamityroo wrote:
Yeah... I tend to find things that will look awesome and are actually very difficult to do. Mind if I have a go at it? I just got some new toys that I have been dieing to try out and this little project would be perfect. If not, I understand.

sure, do what you want , i won't mind.
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